Andy Morris-Friedman: Hype and hypocrisy

Published: 10/11/2021 5:01:54 PM

Hypocrisy is like the weather. Everyone complains about it, but no one does anything about it. They can see another’s hypocrisy from a mile away, but there isn’t a mirror big enough for them to see their own.

The hype over hypocrisy is giving me hypoxia. But objectively, who is the bigger hypocrite: the liberals or the conservatives? Liberals are against the death penalty but they’re for abortion. Conservatives are against abortion but for the death penalty, especially for liberals.

Liberals are for defunding the police yet call the cops when a stranger walks up the steps to their house. Conservatives beat up Capitol police with a “Blue Lives Matter” flag on the steps of the people’s house.

Conservatives like NASCAR and the NRA. Liberals like NASA and the NAACP. Liberals drive Priuses, eat tofu and voted for Barack Obama because he was Black. Conservatives drive pick-ups, would rather starve and voted for Trump because he wasn’t.

Liberals believe in communitraianism, anti-authoritarianism, and vegetarianism. Conservatives believe in tax cuts, budget cuts and cold cuts. That’s no baloney.

Liberals believe in science and in global warming, but don’t believe in God or prayer in the schools. Conservatives believe in God, but don’t believe in science (except if they need a doctor) and pray their insurance covers them. When it comes to humanity, God is agnostic.

Liberal say conservatives are anti-vax, anti-tax, anti-Blacks and anti-science. It doesn’t rhyme, but it doesn’t anti-matter. Conservatives say liberals are anti-fascist, anti-God and should stay auntie and uncle.

Liberals would rather lose then compromise their principals, conservatives sold their soul to the devil to win. In Washington souls sell for less then a dime a dozen. But I digress.

Liberals say they’re for racial equality, but don’t know any Black people. Conservatives say they “don’t see color” and don’t know any Black people, or maybe they do, they can’t tell!

Obviously, since I’m a Liberal, and this is my satire, I’m going to say, IMHO, that (surprise!) the conservatives are more hypocritical then us. But not by much.

Andy Morris-Friedman

Hadley


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