I recently learned of a troubling incident. A Black man was teaching his wife how to drive in a parking lot and a white woman called the police. Sound familiar?

Such reactions didn’t begin with the Central Park, N.Y. story of that particular “Karen” calling the police to “protect” her from a completely innocent Black man. This completely innocent couple, both of whom were frightened by the police, were being profiled and it is all too commonplace in our world. The racism that underlies such stories is a function of our society’s inculcation of fear (all too often tragically accompanied by a gun) in white people, instead of knowledge, awareness, compassion and empathy.

On the heels of hearing about this incident, which fortunately ended as well as it could, I thought about what many Black parents face when their children reach an age when they want to be more independent and they need to hear “the talk.” Unfortunately, because of the prevalence and on-going threats to Black people in our culture, yet another responsibility is placed on the shoulders of Black parents to do their best in the face of endless threats to their children from white supremacy.

What is the purpose of “the talk?” It is to provide information about the many ways it is less safe to be a Black young person, especially a boy, although girls are subject to additional indignities because they are girls, in America. It is also to provide ways to avoid being profiled and what to do if you are, since far too many members of the police force remain threats to their safety, notwithstanding those who would never exhibit such abhorrent and even deadly behaviors.

I will always admire, appreciate and honor those Black parents who know the necessity of “the talk” and take on the responsibility. But what about us? What about the white people in this Valley? Is there a role for us in helping to keep Black young people safer?

I believe strongly that not only is there such a role, but that it is our obligation and our responsibility to fill it.

The word “upstander” comes closest to offering a prescription for what our role needs to become in the face of the kind of acts with which this piece begins. Though it originated after 9/11, “see something, say something” is in this spirit. Being a bystander means witnessing an inhumane act, whereas being an upstander requires speaking out or acting to stop the harm being witnessed.

Knowing how much impact such actions can have, and learning how best to perform them so as not to further endanger the victim nor one’s self, needs to be taught — to adults and children — if we are to begin to undo the centuries of white people being ignorant, indifferent or, worse, complicit, which one’s silence all too often betokens.

Until and unless we take this responsibility to intervene to prevent racist words and actions, we continue to place yet another burden on Black parents, one they cannot afford to not take extremely seriously. We also contribute to the ongoing racism in our community by failing to recognize it and to take action.

Had another white person, learning of the intention of the white woman to call the police regarding the Black couple, been an upstander and pointed out the bias — of course, no call would have been made had the couple been white — we can hope that nothing would have happened. That is the goal — keeping people safe, letting them know we have their backs and owning that, much as white people are the perpetrators, so must white people be the ones who work to end racism.

Tom Weiner retired after 40 years at the Smith College Campus School. He is a member of the anti-racist group Bridge4Unity and of a group seeking reparations in Northampton.

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