Take a walk with me for a minute and just let your mind go free. Imagine a world where things can happen that you never thought possible.

The former guy, the Donald, is still running for a second term as president of our country while under several indictments, both federal and at the state level. Lately the press has been reporting on an excessive weight gain in the already voluminous former guy. That gut of his, the one he made famous for helping him make many very important presidential decisions, has begun to grow, and in a new and different way.

We all know the stories of the Donald dipping his spoon into many puddings without those puddings’ consent. There are nearly 20 women who have accused him of some kind of sexual assault over the years. But those dips never resulted in this very strange result.

After a few months go by, he finally goes to his doctor and is told to his horror that he is the first ever biological male human being to become pregnant, to be carrying a fetus.

With this news, the Donald runs screaming from the exam room, crying out in panic ... I can’t possibly be pregnant, I’m a man! And I’m too old to be a mother. I’ll get an abortion, that’s what I’ll do. But the doctor told him he was already 20 weeks along and the laws around that procedure are quite stringent in the lovely state of Florida where he lives, thanks to his friend, Ron DeSantis, the governor.

Of course, this would not be a problem for Donald or anyone else had he been more discerning in his Supreme Court nomination choices. The three new justices, all conservatives, couldn’t wait to end the constitutional right to abortion that was Roe v Wade. And end it they did. Since Roe was overturned 1½ years ago, multiple states have put draconian laws into place to prevent women from making their own medical decisions. It is now illegal in some states for a woman to end a pregnancy for any reason.

In Florida, the law enforcing a 15-week limit on abortion is sitting before the state Supreme Court. If the court upholds that ban, then a six-week ban that was passed last April will go into effect. But this doesn’t matter for Donald, it’s already too late for him. According to the law, he will be forced to carry that fetus to term and if it survives, he will give birth to it.

Being saddled with a pregnancy is not what he had in mind as a man, or while running for office and fighting his indictments. So, Donald launches a major lawsuit against Florida demanding that he should be allowed to have an abortion because, well, just because. Because he’s a man! And he has presidential immunity, of course. He states in the lawsuit that men have the constitutional right to control their own bodies unlike everybody else, meaning women.

He can’t quite get his brain around someone or some government interfering in his private health decisions. These are his body parts, after all, what business does anyone have in controlling what he and his doctor decide?

When women point out to him that this is the nightmare they have been living with, he shrugs his shoulders and tells them, that’s because, well, that’s just because you’re women. I’m a man!

When the word gets out that it has somehow become possible for men to get pregnant and that the Donald is the first ever to do so, men all over the U.S. are seen running and screaming in horror, especially because they know jail awaits them if they decide to end their pregnancies.

The Donald’s pregnancy is now quite obvious for all to see as that belly of his is bigger than ever. At his rallies now and in his social media posts, he no longer rants about the Witch Hunt or the Big Lie or the immigration crisis or the “Biden crime family.” No, now his favorite issue is abortion, and he blames the Democrats and Joe Biden for passing these unconstitutional abortion bans.

Donald now claims that he was lied to by those three Supreme Court justices he placed on the court.

He tells anyone who will listen that they said they would never overturn Roe, that it was established law, it was precedent. And he believed them! You’re amazed at that, right?

Suddenly all those male Republican lawmakers and governors across the country who happily implemented those draconian abortion bans realized that what was happening to their dear leader, the Donald, could easily happen to them. In record time they began to repeal those abortion laws. And following that, the constitutional right to abortion was restored to all citizens, no matter the gender, with the passage of the 28th Amendment to the Constitution — with the support of every single state.

Donald lost his lawsuit, but because the laws changed so rapidly in Florida, he became the first male human in history to end a pregnancy. He sure has a lot of firsts to his name.

Karen Gardner of Haydenville can be reached at opinion@gazettenet.com.