To: Andrzej Sebastian Duda, President of Poland
From: Donald J. Trump
Hey Duda! It’s me the “still actually” 45th President of the United States. I’m writing to you with some advice on how to respond to the refugee crisis, now that billions and trillions of Ukrainians are illegally crossing your borders bringing in crime and drugs and more crime. They’ll take away the jobs of hard working Polish criminals. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people (but I doubt it.)
We had that same problem here in the U.S. until I alone fixed it. I should send you Steven Miller, he thought of some tremendous ideas on how to screw helpless immigrants. He didn’t want them to ruin America’s future like his immigrant grandparents did. And since you don’t have a Supreme Court protecting peoples so-called rights, you’ll be able to do what ever you want.
I could send you the Proud Boys to protect Poland’s borders. They were a great help on Jan. 6, 2021. Have you considered building a wall between Ukraine and Poland? Mexico will pay for it. Institute a “Remain in Ukraine” policy where refugees stay in camps on the border until you figure out if they’re terrorists or Muslims or whoever else you don’t like.
Of course if something “bad” happens to them while they’re waiting, that’s not your problem is it? The truth is that, whether they’re legal or illegal, they’re still aliens. I don’t know if Ukraine is a S-hole country or not, but at least most of your refugees are white people.
If families do get across, try locking the kids up in cages. Make sure not to keep any records because that way you can’t reunite the families once you’ve moved on to the next manufactured crisis. The truth is locking up 3 year olds proves you’re a strong leader and shows foreigners what it’s like to live in a real democracy, where no one is above the rule of law, except me.
You’ve got to think how lucky Zelenskyy is. Before the invasion his popularity numbers were in the toilet, like 20%. That’s even lower then mine. But now, his numbers are like 95% approval. I wish that Putin had conducted a “special operation” here in America, my numbers would have gone through the roof!
The thing I don’t get is why anyone wouldn’t want to live under the rule of “Big Vlad” Putin? You’ve got to admit that he really is a “very stable genius.” But I digress. Well, that’s it. Let me know if you seize any ex-Russian mega-yachts I could pick up cheap. I’ve got some extra cash in my super pack I’m trying to get rid of. DJT
Andy Morris-Friedman
Hadley