My teachers all told me throughout my 22 years as a student in academia that I’m a slow learner. After 80 years I’m still trying to learn how to tie my shoes so they remain fastened for more than an hour at a time.

For nine years I have been struggling to find out how Donald Trump has been elected president of our country —  twice — and was even able to remain the leader of the Republican “Gang” even when he lost the election. (He did lose that one you know.)

The famous saying goes, “It’s the economy stupid,” but the present state of affairs clearly demonstrates that’s incorrect. The real answer came to me during an “aha moment” while taking my daily walk. It goes, “It’s the acronym stupid.”

“MAGA” is what made the world what it is today. It was this epiphany that motivated me to come up with some suggestions for the Democrats to use in order to counter Maga mania.

You may not have heard chants of MUGA, MEGA, MIGA, or MOGA yet, but hopefully you will soon. I will endeavor to give you a quick heads up, and you can keep your eyes open for the excitement which is sure to follow. Watch for the hats, shirts, and sneakers, too.

MUGA stands for “Make Unpretentiousness Great Again.” For many, the discovery that our current president is planning to stage a birthday party extravaganza to celebrate the Army’s 250th anniversary — and his own 79th birthday — is a bit difficult to digest. It will cost tens of millions of dollars. It comes at the same time that he claims to be making massive cuts throughout the country to reduce our national debt.

MIGA is the acronym for “Make Immunizations Great Again.” Trump’s handpicked Secretary of Health and Human Services, RFK Jr., has been quite vocal about getting rid of vaccines to prevent measles, whooping cough, flu … To paraphrase a famous commercial, “I’m not a doctor but I played one in a school play,” we see dramatic increases in the number of cases and deaths in unvaccinated children and adults from these illnesses. RFK Jr. is not a medical doctor either. I’m not positive if he has ever played one on TV.

Let’s not forget MEGA — “Make Education Great Again.” Trump’s attempts to abolish the Department of Education are ludicrous. His approach to trying to reduce waste in government by firing the entire workforce of an agency is tantamount to cutting off your nose to spite your face. His attempts to cancel federal funding to Harvard will adversely affect some of the most important and successful research in the medical field.

Finally there’s the initialism MOGA which means “Make Openness (as in Truthfulness) Great Again.” Trump’s list of lies is epic and could fill volumes. For lack of space, I will only list a few. He stated that the U.S. is the only country in the world to grant birthright citizenship. Lie. Dozens do including Canada and Mexico. He stated that Canadians “like” the idea of becoming the 51st state. Lie. They overwhelmingly disapprove — witness Mark Carney’s recent win as prime minister. He said China controls and operates the Panama Canal. Lie. Complete nonsense.

Look for MEGA, MOGA, MUGA, and MIGA gear in stores and online coming soon.

Jonathan Kahane lives in Westhampton.