I believe that we can model, teach and rehearse self-defense skills with our kids from a very young age.

This does not mean that we have to introduce the possibility of frightening things happening to them. It means that we can capture age-appropriate teaching moments to strengthen their competencies in the areas of self-regulation, intuition, boundary setting, strong voice, and community building.

When you begin looking for them you discover that benign opportunities to practice these skills abound:

-- A 5-year-old can breathe along with his parent to calm himself during a blood-draw. (Self-regulation)

-- A toddler can be asked, “Does that feel OK to your body?” when he shies away from a hug. His intuition will be supported when his parent says, “He’s not feeling like a hug right now.” (Intuition, Boundary setting)

-- A pre-schooler can order her own meal in a restaurant. (Strong voice)

-- A kindergardener can ask a teacher for help navigating a peer relationship. (Strong voice, community building)

I started teaching my daughter how to brush her teeth years before I expected her to do it independently. We practice telling time long before she’ll manage her own schedule. And we practice self-protection skills all the time.

Kids need concrete skills so that they can interrupt bullying as empowered bystanders. These are the same skills they need to resist peer pressure, to avoid relationship violence, to interrupt racism.

They are the same skills that can save a life in a violent emergency. Countless assaults have been mitigated by the intended victim trusting her instincts, yelling, moving to a safer place, or calling for help.

We don’t expect our littlest ones to keep themselves safe — that’s our job as parents. But kids grow beyond our reach and move out into the world in no time at all. If we give them skills of power and peace we extend our protection throughout their lives.

Lynne Marie Wanamaker is a National Women's Martial Arts Federation Certified Self Defense Instructor.