GAZETTE NEWS QUIZ
1 A group of local high school students and retirees got together recently to do what?
(a) Figure out a way to scam casinos at blackjack.
(b) Read the entire “Finnegans Wake” by James Joyce aloud in 24 hours.
(c) Trade trendy clothes between them.
(d) Talk about their life experiences.
2 Why were members of the Mashpee Wampanoag tribe celebrating this week?
(a) One of its chants was sampled in a Grammy-nominated song.
(b) Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow, which forecasts an early spring.
(c) The federal government said land in Taunton may qualify as a reservation and be eligible for a casino project.
(d) Tribal elders found their misplaced recipe for groundhog stew.
3 Amherst Town Manager John Musante was quoted in Tuesday’s paper as saying, “The primary thing to say about this report is it’s shorter.” What was he referring to?
(a) That the town is not designating every single threatened building as “historic.”
(b) That the numbers of college students arrested for excessive partying has dropped a lot.
(c) That the number of days devoted to Town Meeting has diminished greatly.
(d) That the town is spending a lot less money on litigation.
4 Starting next fall, all public and private school teachers will be required to do what?
(a) Offer handwriting samples to the Northampton Police Department.
(b) Submit samples of their fingerprints for a national criminal background check.
(c) Renew their certifications yearly.
(d) Keep a loaded handgun at the ready.
5 Fifteen police departments throughout Hampshire and Franklin counties are now offering drop boxes for individuals to safely dispose of...
(a) ... diapers.
(b) ... illegal firearms.
(c) ... garbage disposals.
(d) ... unwanted medications.
6 A front-page story this week on alternative outings for Valentine’s Day included which of the following options?
(a) Synchronized swimming classes at the Hampshire YMCA and a yodeling workshop.
(b) Couple’s memoir writing at the Jones Library and taffy-pulling at the Northampton Senior Center.
(c) Two-for-one liposuction and ballroom dance classes at the Center for the Arts.
(d) Lessons for two in the circus arts and a trip with the Pioneer Valley Hiking Club.
7 The Northampton Arts Council had to move its next Four Sundays in February from the Academy of Music. Why?
(a) The roof collapsed from the recent snowstorm.
(b) The Academy decided to run continual showings of “Lawrence of Arabia” instead.
(c) They wanted a bigger venue and are looking at the Mohegan Sun.
(d) Deteriorating and unsafe fire escapes.
8 Ziggy, an 8-month-old puppy owned by Jeremy and Audrey Barker-Plotkin (wait, is that a pseudonym?) won a prize at Amherst’s Winterfest last weekend in what category?
(a) “Most ear-resistable ears.”
(b) “Best GPA (Gives Paw Affection).
(c) “Bags his own doo-doo.”
(d) “Gol-dangiest white booties.”
9 The First Churches of Northampton is promoting what action for the start of Lent, a 40-day period of reflection and self-sacrifice for Christians leading up to Easter?
(a) It’s suggesting parishioners stop reading about all the commotion over a new pope.
(b) It’s nudging parishioners to give up fish on Fridays.
(c) It’s advocating 50 lashes a day.
(d) It’s urging parishioners to undergo a “carbon fast.”
10 In a visit with sports reporters this week, Red Sox manager John Farrell said what about the coming season?
(a) “Certainly we can’t wipe away what’s taken place. It’s important that we acknowledge it.”
(b) “We are bringing the chicken and beer right into the dugout, so the guys build some camaraderie.”
(c) “There are 162 games, and we know we’ll win some, and lose others.”
(d) “Does this cap make my head look fat?”
Answers: 1-d; 2-c; 3-d; 4-b; 5-d; 6-d; 7-d; 8-a; 9-d; 10-a
Monte’s answer: c