I should preface this review by saying that bidet attachments, like so much else in the COVID-19 world, have become wildly popular and can therefore cost up to three times the amount we paid for ours. However, if you want to take the plunge, here is my subjective take on the subject.

Do you need to buy a whole new toilet? No. The bidet attachment we purchased (Tushy, www.hellotushy.com) connects to the clean water valve on your existing toilet. You remove the toilet seat, install the attachment under the back of the seat, connect the water supply and replace the seat. This took us (well, my husband, Steve) about 10 minutes.

How does it work? The Tushy attachment has a nozzle that sits under the seat of the toilet and aims itself at your posterior. There is a dial that juts out from the right side of the bowl that allows you to control both, um, force and angle. Turn the dial to the right, and the water pressure increases. Turn the dial to the left, and the nozzle sprays water back on itself for self-cleaning purposes.

OK, you wash your bum. Then what? Do you just have a wet butt? This was kind of a sticking point for me because if your primary interest in the bidet is saving toilet paper, the fact remains that after washing your booty, it still needs to be dried. So unless you were using enormous amounts of toilet paper before, this does not necessarily preserve your stash. Steve has gotten around this by cutting up towels into the size of face cloths and keeping them in a pretty basket by the toilet (along with a less pretty plastic grocery bag to collect the used cloths). I find this unpleasant but not a deal breaker.

How can you be sure your bum is actually clean if you aren’t wiping? A valid question. Tushy suggests letting the water run for 30-60 seconds, after which point you just have to take it on faith. Steve claims that his posterior feels cleaner with the bidet, while I … don’t. A friend who has spent time in regions of the world where the bidet is common had some informal advice for me: “Get some bar soap, keep it as your butt soap, and just get in there and wash. Dry off with a face cloth.” Do with that what you will.

Isn’t the water cold? Yes. New England grit will come in particularly handy once winter rolls around again. However, Tushy also sells a more deluxe attachment with temperature control if desired.

Is it aesthetically pleasing? No.

Will children use it? That depends on your child. Of my two, the 12-year-old likes it, while the 7-year-old was until recently too terrified to try it out. He now uses it reluctantly and complains afterwards, but that’s OK. I am secure in the knowledge that, in the near apocalypse where no TP exists, the bidet attachment will be a real asset (hahaha).

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