Andy Morris-Friedman: Off with their heads

Published: 7/14/2021 4:53:02 PM

After guillotining the chairwoman of the Conservation Commission for “bad customer service,” the majority of Hadley Select Board might want to get ahead on the rest their work and consider these equally valid reasons to reduce the size of the remaining town committees and departments.

Town accountant, his number’s up. Animal Control is running wild. The Building Department is falling into disrepair. Cemetery Committee is stoned. It’s a grave situation and it’s not like people are dying to get on it. Council on Aging isn’t getting any younger. The Department of Public Works needs to be privatized. Reform of the emergency department can wait, but reform of the Fire Department is a burning issue.

Hadley Media should get the message. Their 15 minutes of fame is up. The Public Safety Building needs to be better policed. It’s not a cop out. Park and Rec is a total wreck and should be defun-did. The School Board didn’t make the grade and needs to be taught a lesson. Both the town collector and the treasurer are bucking the system and need to be checked.

The work of the clerk, as well as the efforts of all the town committees, will be kept in the circular file. The job of the Agricultural Commission can be farmed out. Climate Change Committee is just a hoax and the humans are not responsible. The Diversity Committee is always the same people. Time for some new faces.

The CPA (Community Preservation Act) needs to be brought to account. Cultural Council is a causality of the culture war. The Historical Commission just keeps repeating itself. The Finance Committee is broke. Library Trustees can’t be trusted. Let’s throw the book at them. The whole Board of Assessors needs to be reassessed, throw the book at them too. The Zoning Board of Appeals is not appealing. They need to be zoned out. The Shade Tree Committee needs pruning and after going out on a limb, the Select Board should give them the ax.

Remember, if you want to stay safe on “Team Hadley” you better “play ball” because if you argue with the umpire, you’re out. But I digress. Before you know it, there’ll be no more volunteers left to do anything and the Select Board will have responsibility for everything in town. Hey wait ...

Andy Morris-Friedman


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