How can I, identified as male at birth, say I am female? It is a good question and all I can say is it is the way I see myself, but it is not some made-up feeling, nor is it because I couldn’t hack it in the male world.

From what I have read on gender dysphoria and the reasons some people identify as transgender, researchers have some hypotheses as to why people like me born with a male body identify as female. Researchers believe that in utero, some fetuses are exposed to a wash of hormones that affect its development, particularly the development of the brain. Studies of the brains of transgender women have shown that their brain structures are more similar to the brains of women than of men. Yes, male and female brains are slightly different.

Whatever may or may not have happened to me in utero, the estrogen I have taken since the early days of my transition has worked its magic on me. Yes, there have been all the physical changes to my body, but it is the impact of estrogen on my senses and thinking and emotion are the most noteworthy. My skin is now very soft and extremely sensitive to touch, and it is possible that my sense of smell and taste are more acute — but it is the way I feel about myself, others, and the world around me that is very different.

Not surprisingly, I get very emotional at times, sometimes crying for what seems like no apparent reason, but I also have this sense of inner peace, and I feel very in tune with others as well as with nature and the universe in general. I never quite knew any of this in my male-bodied, testosterone-fueled life, despite having the feeling I was supposed to be female.

Over my time taking it, I feel that the estrogen has really made me “more female” in both mind and body, despite identifying as female before I even began my hormone therapy.

All this begs the question, what makes someone female? When I look at the women I know, if I was put on a “femininity scale,” where do I fit? I know some women that are far more feminine than me, and some far less, but what does that really mean? And who is allowed to judge?

What it means to be male or female is all really a human judgment that varies widely with culture. All I know is that I am lucky to have people in my life, people that really know me, who do see me as female.

There are ardent feminists who think that anyone who doesn’t have a uterus can’t be a woman, and I certainly don’t. But there are women who are born without a uterus, a condition called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser Syndrome, and it effects roughly 1 in 5,000 women; do they not qualify as women? And what about post-menopausal women? Despite not having a monthly period, these women have experience and wisdom that is very important to younger generations.

Also, what of intersex individuals, who are not typically male or female based on their biological sexual characteristics? Some of these folks do identify as female despite not fitting the usual definition of female.

Still, why do I call myself female? Ironically, I write this on a morning when I just had my second mammogram, a day after I was man-splained for expressing my thoughts, and after crying earlier today, longing for my mom, who I could use in my life now more than ever, but sadly she passed in 2008.

I have found that the world is now a far smaller place than it used to be as there are many places, as a woman, I don’t dare go to alone or even at all. And although the abortion and contraception debate doesn’t affect me directly, I worry that my control over my body, in particular in the form of access to the estrogen I take weekly, will be stripped from me by cruel, narrow-minded politicians.

The last paragraph may sound like I regret my decision to transition to female, but nothing can be further from the truth. No life, whether male or female, is perfect, but I know in my heart that I was true to myself in transitioning to female, a decision that most people cannot even fathom.

Mariel Addis is a native of Florence. She left the area for 16 years but returned in 2013.