May 1 is May Day. Originally it celebrated spring in Celtic and other traditions. Singing, dancing, bonfires, and competing for the tallest maypoles for male fertility were all the rage. Apparently size comparisons have been around for centuries. Who knew? By the 19th century, May Day became International Worker’s (labor) Day.

This year, two days in May stand out for me as milestone commemorative events. One marks a tragedy and the other one is reason to celebrate.

On May 16, 1874 — 150 years ago — the Mill River Flood killed 139 people from Williamsburg to Leeds, and it was the first large dam break disaster in the United States. Visit www.historicnorthampton.org to learn about commemoration events May 16-18 and beyond. I live on a historic site on the river, and I am reminded that water is life and also a powerful force.

On May 17, 2004 — 20 years ago — marriage equality was enacted in Massachusetts (brilliantly coinciding with the 50th anniversary of the Brown v. Board of Education decision to end school segregation). As a Justice of the Peace, I brought my robe with me on May 17 as I and many others spent the day outside of Northampton City Hall. I ended up solemnizing five marriages including the first lesbian couple in Northampton to be officially married before the end of the morning.

Our local hero plaintiffs (one of seven couples in the landmark case), Gina and Heidi Nortonsmith, were ushered to the front of the line so they would be the first to get their license application completed. Gay men from San Francisco sent roses for lesbians in line. People showed up with food and water. Individuals of all ages, from elementary school children to the raging grannies, came to cheer us on. We were in the midst of a larger history. This was the beginning of marriage equality that would eventually make it to other states then to the U.S. Supreme Court to become a federal right in 2015. We also can thank our neighboring state, Vermont, for leading the way on marriage equality’s precursor — civil unions.

Twenty years later, there are young adults who have little concept that lesbians and gay men were in a class that precluded all sorts of legal rights and social acceptance. It was an anomaly to be out of the closet and openly married in many states until very recently.

In those early years, I served couples from states where they could lose their jobs and housing if they came out. They came to Massachusetts to quietly get married and then took off their wedding rings before they got back home. These couples had to live duplicitous lives to survive. Others migrated here to have a safer and more affirming existence.

For this anniversary, I would like to share three stories that stand out. In 2008, four gay men came up from NYC to have a small double wedding ceremony behind City Hall. One couple was a generation younger than the other elderly couple. New York Gov. David Paterson had just issued an executive order for New York to legally recognize same sex marriages from other jurisdictions.

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After the ceremony, one of the younger men (nearly 50 years old) told me why it was important for them to have a joint ceremony. When he was 15, his parents kicked him out of their house when they found out he was gay. Just as he was about to starve or have to prostitute himself in Manhattan, a gay couple took them into their home, helped him finish high school and supported him through college. Rich became a successful architect. He installed an elevator in the now elderly couple’s duplex in the West Village and he and his spouse live on the other side. He has assured them they will always be cared for in their home as long as they live. We all cried.

Also in 2008, a couple who described themselves as gender queer opted to have their wedding on Halloween at Look Park. With everyone dressing up for the science fiction theme, they felt their friends and their grandparents would be equally comfortable. I got to wear Spock ears for the ceremony. As luck would have it, I can raise one eyebrow quizzically and separate my fingers for the “live long and prosper” bit.

Finally, there is the notable local lesbian couple who might set a record for renewing their vows. I will likely join them this year for our fifth such ritual that began as a wedding ceremony in 2004. What’s amazing about it is that it is always fresh, always a profound pleasure and never taken for granted.

J.M. Sorrell is a feminist at her core. She is also an unabashed romantic who believes that many forms of love help us to flourish.