By JOHN BERKOWITZ
NORTHAMPTON - Throughout human history around the world, mentoring of the
young has been the norm. In simple but enduring ways, residents of a village
or town joined parents and relatives in helping to raise children.
And when the children came of age as teenagers, this outer circle of mentors
would initiate and welcome them into the community and help them see what it
means to become an adult who acts with responsibility and integrity for the
good of his or her family and society. 
The Boys To Men Teen Mentoring Network of western Massachusetts, part of a
national organization which has worked with over 4,000 boys in the past 13
years, believes that initiation and mentoring have been lost in our country
and many others over the past hundred years - at a tremendous cost to the
young and to our society.
In our experience, most boys (or girls) who get more close listening,
support and role-modeling by other adults besides their parents don't bully
other kids physically or verbally; they don't get hooked on drugs and
alcohol; they don't do poorly in school; they don't let the media and
electronics dominate their lives; and they don't engage in first sexual
exploration without respectful, caring communication with their partner.
And they grow up into young adults with self-confidence and self-worth who
don't try to resolve their difficulties through physical or emotional abuse
and violence toward others at home or at work. Instead, they care for
themselves, for others in their community and for the earth.
More men of all ages, including retired elders, are urgently needed to step
up to mentoring and do what their forefathers have done for millennia. The
old cliché is as true as ever: It does take a village to raise a child.
In mid-August, we're holding, for the third year in a row, a Rite of Passage
Adventure Weekend with 40 new boys ages late 12 to 17 from the Valley and
all over the Northeast. Another 20 boys return to staff after attending
their weekend in the past few years. And 60 men staff the event, including
two paid and highly skilled group leaders.
The adventure weekend is both a lot of fun yet and challenging for the boys.
We invite them to recognize what's good as well as what's hard in their
lives, feel a supportive community of men and other boys around them and
encourage them to journey with courage and growing clarity through their
teen years. They become what we call "Journeymen."
Following the weekend, we offer these boys Journeymen groups that meet every
two weeks on a Sunday afternoon for four hours. A group we started in
Brattleboro, Vt., is two years old; another in Greenfield has met for one
year and we just started a new one in Hadley with seven boys and four
mentors.
We plan to start second groups in Hampshire and Franklin counties with
another six or seven boys in each group, and new mentors making a one-year
commitment for sessions either once or twice a month.
Our mentors pass a criminal record background check, receive training and
ongoing support and work with the boys always in groups, which not only
helps to ensure the boys' safety but gives the men mutual support and the
boys a bunch of new friends - plus multiple mentors and role models.
I've seen firsthand how Boys To Men can have a strong, positive impact on
all boys, whether they have a father in their lives or not. For those that
don't, it can make a huge difference. Our vision is to offer many more boys
the kind of mentoring support and guidance they need and deserve.
And our
mentors feel that it also fills a hole in their own lives - to reclaim their
historic, essential role as mentors for the young.
John Berkowitz is coordinator of the Boys To Men Teen Mentoring Network of
western Massachusetts and southern Vermont. For more information, contact
him at (413) 625-6374 or johnpberk@gmail.com [1]
Links:
[1] mailto:johnpberk@gmail.com