Daily Hampshire Gazette - Established 1786
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End-of-world anxiety proves a bit of a bore

To the editor:

Now that the Mayan apocalypse has come and gone I have to admit that I am somewhat disappointed. I’m just sick and tired of the world not ending. The truth is that we’ve had so many doomsday scenarios lately, but this time I really thought it was for real.

Personally I’ll never trust a Mayan again. So after all this waiting, what happened? “Jersey Shore” was cancelled, but I hardly think that’s equivalent.

Now scientists tell us the world won’t end when the earth and sun line up with the black hole in the center of our galaxy and release all the gamma rays. Isn’t that what created the Incredible Hulk? And this means that, since the world isn’t ending, I’m going to have to have reschedule my colonoscopy. Sure, some crazy nut jobs believe that civilization will end before then because of global warming. Except that every one knows that global warming really is just a hoax. But I digress.

I can’t sit around and wait 100 years for the end of the world. What am I supposed to do until then? And all the food in my preparedness shelter will have spoiled by then. And seriously, the end of the world? You know that it won’t be able to live up to the hype and we’re just going to be disappointed. Now that I think about it, rather then wait for it, I’ll just TiVo it and watch it later.

Andy Morris-Friedman

Hadley

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