Daily Hampshire Gazette - Established 1786
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Lou & Lucy’s Leftovers

Questions.

I have so many questions.

Six actually.

1: If the Food Network swept Paula Deen out of their chef stable for saying those horrible things, why does their website still allow me to access everything she apparently ever cooked?

2: How come the Food Network didn’t can her sorry act years ago when the diabetes scandal broke ?(I asked this very question when that first happened.)

3: How come the Food Network didn’t duct-tape her mouth the 51st time she used “ya’ll” within the very first two-minute segment they videotaped with her?

4: It took decades for the South to recover from the Civil War. How long will southern cooking take to recover from the abominations that Deen foisted on us?

5: How come Ann Curry didn’t interview Deen on “Today?”

6: Why am I not cooking instead of thinking about this depressing stuff?

Answers:

1: Their Web tech guy had a stroke eating one of Deen’s dishes.

2: The network apparently thinks such behavior is acceptable. Like the execs always say, “until her ratings drop, we’re sticking by her.”

3: They were in shock from such crass overacting, never having actually heard anybody, anywhere, talk like that.

4: Seventeen weeks

5: Only Matt Lauer knows the answer

6: I’m cooking now!

— Lou

Question: Why did Paula Deen’s cookbook “New Testament’ go from being ranked in the 1,500s at Amazon on Monday to number 1?

Answer: I guess, as they say, any publicity is good publicity.

— Lucy

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