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MasterChef Recap: Big Returns

   MasterChef was down to its final six contestants, so of course that meant that this week's episode would feature exactly zero of them cooking anything. No, while the supposedly six best home cooks in America looked on, the three judges each brought back one previously eliminated contestant to get a chance for redemption.  First up was Gordon, who selected his favorite vegetarian and yours (not to mention Krissi's favorite vegan even though she's not a vegan at all) - Bri! Solid selection. Bri was good, only 0

MasterChef Recap: Family Ties

  It was a rough week for me as a MasterChef viewer as not only did one of my favorite contestants get eliminated, but I was also forced to *gag* feel bad for Krissi. Ugh, I feel dirty.  The final seven arrived to the Mystery Box Challenge to find what is becoming a common occurrence: personal mystery boxes at each station and a gigantic one at center stage. What could possibly be under there this time? A few more Desperate Housewives? Extra piles of meat? Krissi's missing 0

Remembering the Boomer

  I would like to tell you that George Scott was my first favorite baseball player because despite being a very large man, he was nimble on his feet and incredibly sure-handed with his glove or that he hit long, moonshot home runs in before steroids created an era that everyone could do that. Later in my youth, both of those traits would have been reasons I’d have selected an idol. But George Scott’s career ended before I turned 6 years old and in truth 0

Hell's Kitchen Recap: Winner, Winner, Beef Cheeks Dinner

 "You never underestimate a butcher with a soft voice." - Mary   Well, Mary "Pride of Belchertown" Poehnelt made a valiant effort as the 11th season of Hell's Kitchen wore on, seeming to get stronger with each passing week while perennial contenders slipped behind, but in the end, it wasn't quite enough. The title wound up with Ja'Nel, who has been strong all season long and was, along with Jon, one of my early picks (cough-cough-humblebrag-cough).  The finale began without really knowing who the finalists were. Well, 0

MasterChef Recap: Into the Wild

 What type of roadkill is Granny Clampett most likely to serve for Sunday dinner?  This episode of MasterChef started where all cooking shows worth their salt take place - the middle of the wilderness. The contestants had to hike to some hilltop someplace, and along the way we learned that Krissi doesn't like hiking. Or camping. Or nature. Or the sun. Or rainbows. Or fun.   First, we learned the task: the two teams would have to make something using just the ingredients found in two survival 0

Hell's Kitchen Recap: Belchertown Rising

 We don't know everything just yet. While four contestants entered this week's service, only two would leave and just who those two are is not completely official. But you know who one of them is? PRIDE OF BELCHERTOWN MARY POEHNELT! Yes, everyone's favorite butcher at the Hadley Whole Foods has only gotten stronger and stronger in recent weeks, while perennial contenders Jon and Ja'Nel have slipped further and further, and so one sure thing about next week's finale is that THERE WILL BE MEAT.  Not too 0

MasterChef Recap: Eddie's Revenge

   MasterChef is finally starting to take its time, airing one episode a week (NOVEL CONCEPT) instead of jamming two down your throat simultaneously. We still have six weeks of summer to stretch this stuff out, baby! Now let's get to it.  With nine "chefs" left, things kickstarted with a Mystery Box challenge. Like Eva Longoria Week, this week had one super-large box at the front of the kitchen to go along with personal boxes at each station. Unlike Eva Longoria Week, the only celebrity who'd 0

Hell's Kitchen Recap: Burger Paradise

  Well, finally. After three loooonnngggg, drawn out weeks (with holiday breaks thrown in!), we finally got the final five Hell's Kitchen contestants down to the final four with the inevitable loss of Susan. I get the fun of drama and the group did perform well against last week's All-Star team, but was Susan really impressive enough to warrant three episodes and four weeks' worth of waiting? Probably not.  But let's take it from the top of Part 3. After such a strong showing against last week's 0

MasterChef Recap: Surf's Up

  "I like to cook food." "I like to stare longingly at professional athletes."  Between my own vacation and MasterChef's, it's been awhile since we've all seen each other. I'm sorry if I've ruined your summer, but now we're back in action and ready to roll. And to celebrate our triumphant reunion, we're all awarded with a new favorite competitor: Bri, who in one two-hour episode took on two of the most obnoxious people left in Natasha and Krissi. Way to speak for all of America, you 0

Hell's Kitchen Recap: Under Pressure

   Last week, Gordon Ramsay promised that only four chefs would be receiving the overly symbolic "black jackets," which, like the merge in Survivor, signifies the transition from a team to an individual competition. As there were five chefs left, we figured that would happen early in the next episode. Because, you know, he promised.  Ha.  Haha.  Hahahahahahaha.  Oh please. This wouldn't be Hell's Kitchen if it didn't take THREE EPISODES to eliminate one person. So this week consisted of part one of three, or a rare treat for everyone, 0