There is nothing sweeter than making someone happy with food. Before I had children, I would spent an entire day or more just reading recipes, doing shopping at specialty shops and finally preparing what I hoped was a perfectly satisfying meal.

(I do remember preparing a meal involving spanikopita, those spinach and feta pastries layered with filo dough for someone I wanted to impress who turned out to hate spinach.)

Now, my standards are lowered. I don’t feel so bad if my son Elliot begs for and delights in fast food hamburgers, especially if I know he’s eating right most of the time.

But if you really want to bring pleasure to someone with food, find someone in a nursing home who has a craving after weeks of eating bland food and you will find someone who will delight in what you bring.

I’m not saying that the food for the Center for Extended Care in Amherst is something to complain about. They’re just trying to provide healthy food to people with a lot of dietary restrictions and that means not too much salt, not too much fat and not too much spice. That generally doesn’t lead to something too yummy.

Both my parents have spent time at the Center for Extended Care on University Drive. My dad, Robert Gonter, was never a picky eater and he would chow down on the chicken patty sandwich with creamed spinach like it was the greatest thing he ever ate. Both foods he would have never touched a home. (He did tell them never to serve him stewed tomatoes again.)

My mother, Marilyn Gonter, at one time was picky about having tea with her meals and it was hard to get them to move away from coffee during her last stay at the Center. Now that we got it straight, she no longer seems to care and drinks coffee each morning. Now, mom is just happy that she doesn’t have to eat her food blenderized.

Our long-time family friend, Clotilda Gawienowski, who also is staying at the Center, has made her preferences clear in the nursing home world. She wants to listen to John Denver music and videos much of the time and she wants bacon cheeseburgers from Wendy’s with fries a small chocolate Frostee.

In my mind, when you reach a certain age and you’ve spent a certain amount of time in a nursing home, no one should question what you crave. If it’s filet mignon with Bernaise sauce, fine, and if it’s a fast food meal, it’s just easier to provide.

So a bit hungry ourselves and knowing we were heading to the Center for a visit recently, my daughter and I picked up Ms. Gaw’s favorite meal, checking with her daughter and son-in-law about her preferences with her daughter before we got there.

At first, Ms. Gaw was occupied with the church service and I worried that her Frostee would not stay chilled and her burger would be hot enough. I need not have worried. She seemed delighted with both.
When someone you know and love is in a nursing home, it can be a struggle to find ways to make them happy. But watching my old neighbor eat that cheeseburger was a real lesson about living in the moment and appreciating the small things in life.

And also a lesson about how moving it is to make someone happy so easily. I’m thrilled to be able to provide the occasional bacon cheeseburger for a friend of the family. I wish I knew what would make my mom equally happy.

When I have a craving, I often just go get whatever I want. I don’t think much about this privilege, but I want to remind myself not to take it for granted. There are two things I like to indulge myself in these days: tiramisu at Whole Foods market and a burrito from Mission Cantina in South Amherst. I must remember to appreciate them as much as Mrs. Gawienowski appreciated her burger.