By CHRISTINE WU

SOUTHAMPTON — Over the summer, I was speaking with neighbors about the Aspire Project and its mission: to educate the community on the topic of creating a safer and more respectful environment for our children. They were pleased and impressed by the work writers have contributed.

I told them our hope for the future of this series is to highlight programs that are working to make a difference.

One of these neighbors, Kathleen Tudryn, a former school counselor, told me she knew where I could find my next story. She told me that I needed to visit the William E. Norris Elementary School in Southampton.

So I visited William Collins, principal of Southampton’s elementary school.

As I walked through the school’s foyer, I was greeted by a hand-carved wooden sign with “Welcome” in nine languages. I later learned a Jamaican wood-carver is brought in at the end of each year to help children carve a new piece of artwork for the school. Several carvings grace the walls as you move through the school.

Next to the window of the main office is a rack of books parents can borrow. The selection included many books on teaching fairness, forging friendships, emotional intelligence and support for adoptive and divorced families.
The philosophy of this school was clear to me in minutes — development of character is as important as development of knowledge.

After all, both play equal parts in who we become.

I followed Collins through his morning and visited several classrooms to watch morning routines unfold. “Come to the door with me. The kids will soon be arriving,” the principal said.

Place of peace

Whenever possible, Collins greets each child as they come into the school, fostering a sense that he is someone they can come to anytime.

As the last children filed into their home rooms, he invited me into the library. In the corner was a TV camera. Each day, after announcements are made, a different child volunteers to lead the school in daily pledges, which are telecast to each classroom.

Like all schools, they recite the Pledge of Allegiance. But following that is the Peace Pledge:

I am a peacebuilder. I pledge: To praise people, to give up put-downs,
to seek wise people as advisers and friends,
to notice the hurts I have caused and make amends,
to right wrongs, to help others —
I will build peace at home, school, and in my community each day.

“All the children take part in this, even preschoolers. In doing so, they are making a united pact,” Collins explained. “As a society, we must lay the groundwork for mutual respect early. We have to reinforce that it’s not OK to hurt or disrespect others both at home and at school. We believe that spending time on social issues up front can cut down on conflicts later on down the line.”

We moved on to classrooms to witness morning meetings. Before getting down to the business of academics, each teacher gathers her class in a circle to greet each other and share personal stories.

Here, teachers reinforce aspects of good communication, from using your voice properly, to eye contact, to body posture — skills that will be valuable throughout life.

After the greetings, each child can take a moment to share something personal. The stories I heard varied greatly, but each was given the same attention and respect.
One child shared that her cat had died. As the teacher responded to this child, she validated her feelings, and in doing this, subtly demonstrated to the other children how do so.

Another child shared a story about his new remote-control toy car.

He spoke with energy and excitement about playing with it.

“The stories told in morning meeting give children a chance to share hopes, concerns, happy news and to release energy,” Collins told me. “Being able to share something important out loud and be heard can help them move on with their day and better focus on their school work.

He noted that it also gives teachers a chance to flag issues that may need attention from school counselors.

I followed Collins back to his office to learn about the roots of these ideas.
He explained that the school uses two social skill building programs, the Responsive Classroom and the Peace Builders curriculum.

Being ‘responsive’

The Responsive Classroom is an approach that emphasizes social-emotional and academic growth in a safe environment. The idea is that children learn best when both their emotional and academic needs are met, Collins explained. The key to making the program work is having everyone in school on board.

Therefore, all teachers received Responsive Classroom training, as do bus drivers, cafeteria workers and other staff.

Good communication and respect for others is reinforced throughout their day.

The Peace Builders is a violence-prevention and character-building curriculum. Along with the morning pledge, the program offers ideas for assignments and projects that promote safety and respect. Teachers of any subject can pull from a kit.

For instance, an English teacher may find suggestions for essay-writing topics. Instead of writing about summer vacation, children might write about how to make the world a safer place.
Collins said the programs are not new.

“This past spring, we saw the first group of students move on to junior high after having experienced the Responsive Classroom program throughout their entire schooling here at Norris,” he said.

“We believe in this program, and it has become an integral part of the school’s philosophy. When I was hired here six years back, it was made clear to me by the hiring committee that the Responsive Classroom was not something the teachers were willing to do without — and that I must be willing to be on board, too. I was happy to be.”

When Collins joined the school’s staff, he brought with him the Peace Builders program to further enhance the school social awareness curriculum.

Later, I spoke with staff members about the school’s efforts.

Assistant Principal Barbara Barlow said she believes it’s important to reinforce good behavior as well as good grades.
“I carry a pad of blank ‘praise notes’ with me all the time. If I see a child perform a random act of kindness, like helping or comforting another, I present them with a praise note,” she said.

“We want the children to know that we are not only here to discuss negative behaviors with them, but positive ones too. In turn, I see the children following suit. I see them publicly standing up for good behavior they witness and reporting damaging behaviors. A vigilance is growing,” Barlow said.

Two teachers I spoke with said they use the Peace Pledge to set a tone, and let children see what is expected of them. The pledge helps solve conflicts that do arise.

Often, they say, they hear children using the caring, non-judgmental language modeled by their teachers.

As I got ready to leave, classes were well under way. Though spelling and math homework were taking center stage, the importance of social skill-building was present, it seemed, in the way teachers interacted with children and in a refreshing sense of community.

Collins shared a story as he walked me out. “Over the summer, I ran into a couple of boys who had gone to school here but are now in eighth or ninth grade. They were still wearing their William E. Norris Elementary T-shirts,” Collins said. “They greeted me happily and with big smiles. You’d think most kids that age wouldn’t want to wear anything that would associate them with elementary school."

“I was so pleased that they were wearing their shirts with pride,” he said.

Making a difference

With the news that even more children have taken their lives due to bullying, it is a particularly important time to recognize efforts that could make a difference.
I’m sure the Norris school is not free of student conflict. No school is. However, they appear to be taking positive, constructive and conscious steps to address social awareness in their school.

And while many schools are working to cultivate a safe and respectful environment, I agreed with my neighbor, Kathleen Tudryn, that the William E. Norris Elementary School is doing a particularly good job.

To learn more about the Responsive Classroom and Peace Builders projects visit www.ResponsiveClassroom.org and www.PeaceBuilders.com.