Daily Hampshire Gazette - Established 1786
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Lou & Lucy’s Leftovers

One of the reasons we love food so much is the wonderful aroma emanating from our kitchens when we’re cooking.

Who hasn’t drooled over the day-long whiffs of your godfather’s Italian gravy simmering on the stove top?

Who hasn’t salivated at the smells of that apple pie baking?

Who hasn’t basked in the bouquet of fresh bread crusting?

Of course we love these scents so much because not only do they smell good but they also offer a payoff down the line: To actually eat something that tastes wonderful. That’s a conversation worth having.

But now the candle industry has appropriated one of these wonderful essences and incorporated it into the latest candle trend: Bacon-scented candles.

This is another sign of the apocalypse now.

Do they really think there are people out there who want to fill their houses with the smells of fresh bacon frying in that cast-iron skillet first thing in the morning? Do they really think this is a good idea? They don’t know jack.

Call me old-fashioned (or at least make me one) when I think that candles should smell like pine forests and not much else. Sometimes I feel like Rip Van Winkle.

Try as I might to think of a good reason to own a bacon candle, I could not come up with the slightest reason for them.

Except one.

Know when you have those “guests-who-have-stayed-so-long-they’re-still-there-in-the-morning?”

Wouldn’t it be nice to wake them to what they think are the smells of fresh bacon frying in that cast-iron skillet first thing in the morning only to have them find out there’s a single bacon candle burning on the kitchen table with a note next to it that says, “Good morning. The dog ate all the bacon. Sorry.”

Come to think of it, even better would be a napalm candle so the note could say, “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

P.S. There are five Francis Coppola movies mentioned above. Can you name them?

P.S.S. I am now tweeting the scary thoughts from my brain:
@_GROCCIA. You’ve been warned.

— Lou

I don’t know what’s scarier, the bacon candle or you tweeting. Be afraid, be very afraid!

I am not a fan of scented candles. They smell. Sometimes in a house where scented candles are being used you can actually taste it in the food that has been cooked there.

— Lucy

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