Daily Hampshire Gazette - Established 1786
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Lou & Lucy's Leftovers: The odds of cooking

Lou Groccia and Lucy Pickett, the Gazette's self-proclaimed food experts, can't stop talking about food.

There’s a marble-topped cabinet in my kitchen. On the marble sits a food processor, a blender and a mixer. These three appliances sit at the back of the countertop. In front of them is about 10-inches-by-30-inches of marbletop.

This area is known in kitchen parlance as “the place to put things and leave them there until your wife asks you to neaten up the place.”

Right now five well-worn kitchen towels reside there. (Oh, the stories they could tell.)

Also residing there are three computer printouts and two newspaper articles from the Wall Street Journal. These give you a glimpse into what’s pinging around in the empty spaces in my brain. The percentages after each description predict how likely it is that I will actually do what the articles suggest.

Printout 1: An article about baking polenta instead of stirring it on the stove for an hour or so. (75 percent: my wife and I both love polenta)

Printout 2: A recipe for Crunchy Granola from the New York Times. (100 percent: I told my wife I’d make this for her)

Printout 3: A recipe for Mocha-Cinnamon Pots de Creme. (100 percent: no explanation necessary)

WSJ article: “Kelp Wanted: What’s the secret to making all kinds of dishes infinitely more delicious? It’s in this simple Japanese stock” with three recipes. (31 percent: I’m waiting until I can come up with a noodle joke)

WSJ article: “Baked Pasta Resurgence” with four recipes. (19 percent: must stay somewhat healthy)

And rest assured that these articles will be supplanted by others as surely as day follows night.

I guess you could say I really am playing with a full set of marble.

— Lou

I just happen to have a noodle joke just for you, Lou.

What do call a fake noodle? An impasta.

It’s weird, but I can picture all that stuff pinging around your brain.

Ping, ping, ping!

Kinda creepy.

— Lucy

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