With the Patriots in Super Bowl MMCMLXVIII, it's time to stockpile for the big party. You've filled enormous bowls with Wing-dings and Ho-blos and other crisp, fat-filled snacks. But what about the trivia?

Yes, those little factoids about previous Super Bowls, current players and unbelievable gridiron feats are the mortar of any Super Bowl party. Don't have enough? Try these "Did You Knows?" with your guests. And rest assured, no one will know because I'm making them up.

Did You Know # that Merle, a chimpanzee in the Miami Zoo, when given a chance to pick Sunday's winner by choosing a Giants or Patriots cookie, sat shaking his head and looking at his keeper as if he were the stupidest creature in creation?

Did You Know # that a 50-yard field goal, if kicked on the moon, would be a 300-yard field goal? It's goooood!

Did You Know # that the term Super Bowl is not even mentioned in the Constitution? Check it out!

Did You Know # that the NFL screens potential quarterbacks to ensure that each has a sufficiently macho name such as Tim Tebow, Tom Brady, Roman Gabriel or Joe Montana? Yep, Willy Wonka need not apply!

Did You Know # that if all the Patriots fans leaving Gillette Stadium were gridlocked bumper-to-bumper for seven hours, it would be just another game day in Foxborough?

Did You Know # that during the 1974 season, Pittsburgh Steelers running back Franco Harris ran for 1,145 touchdowns - in his dreams? An NFL record! You can look it up!

Did You Know # that Green Bay Packer coach Vince Lombardi was a great motivator of gerbils? Yes, Lombardi, who owned a dozen gerbils at a given time, used to call them into his rec room and give fiery speeches urging them to be all they could be, to stop whining, to play the gerbil game as it was meant to be played. Strange but true!

Did You Know # that many top football colleges, including Alabama, LSU and Oklahoma State, offer actual classes to their students? And some students even attend these classes when football is not in session? It's true, I swear!

Did You Know # that in every other country around the world, football is a game played with a round ball that players kick back and forth, trying to score goals? Honest!

Did You Know # that all these Wing-dings and Ho-blos are making us really fat?

Did You Know # that the tradition of naming Super Bowls with Roman numerals began with the Super Bowl I between the Rome Lions and the Ephesus Christians?

Do You Care # that the $4 million cost of a 30-second spot on Super Bowl MMCMLXVIII would feed 40,000 hungry children for a year?

Do You Care # that other than Tom Brady, I can't name a single Patriot? Oh yeah, you wanna make somethin' of it?

Do You Care # that a football once fell off a plane, landed on a small Pacific island and within two years, native tribes had organized a full 16-game season with playoffs and a Super Bowl? Yeah, I wanna make somethin' of it! Right after this commercial!

Do You Care # that the creativity behind this year's Super Bowl commercials, if properly channeled, could create millions of jobs, end the recession and cure cancer? You're drunk. Sit down.

Do You Believe # how the Red Sox folded last year? I still don't.

Did You Know # that NFL quarterbacks are not born but are created in human genome labs off the coast of Singapore? It's true, I read it on Wikipedia!

Did You Know # that back in 1968, the Super Bowl was played before a crowd of 65 people? Not really, but it does seem we used to have better things to get all crazed about.

OK, the trivia is served. Play ball! What? They don't say that in this game?