NORTHAMPTON - The start of a New Year always brings images of the masses joining the nearest gym to try to lose weight. Others might make goals to spend less time watching TV or actually flossing their teeth every night instead of once a week.

There are plenty of options for so many people, and I love to hear what people are striving to achieve in a new year, for it is exciting and inspiring to try to achieve something new in your life, to grow and change.

Physical health, strength and looking beautiful on the outside have always been mainstays of our culture. Yet I'm advancing the idea of looking for a moment inside yourself.

Do you feel anxious often, or depressed? Have you felt like something is "off" inside you? Do you know someone you love who might need help?

I had known something was off for a few years, but never thought anyone out there could help me. Also, I can hide things well, so only a few choice friends knew of my dark side.

I thought therapists and psychiatrists were intimidating. What has happened in my personal experience has dispelled so many myths I had.

I had an illness brewing that was pushed over the edge by a major life crisis last summer. Depression and anxiety seemed to have me in a vise. I knew I was not alone, with the numbers going up year after year for different mental health illnesses, yet I felt hopeless and defeated.

I had become just a number in that statistical jump.

Today, I finally realize I have an illness, and I'm still working on accepting it as part of me - but not all of me. What must be heard and understood by all is that a mental illness is just as hard and painful as a physical one. Illness does not discriminate based on age, gender or sexual orientation.

I can't tell you how scared I was when I hit rock bottom. Within a few short weeks, though, what I feared the most, taking medication and seeing a doctor, have passed.

I have never been so open and trusting with my psychiatrist. Yes, I have a real psychiatrist who I respect and who is extremely knowledgeable, down to earth, empathetic and professional.

I view her as a role model and a game-changer in my life. She is a giant support, and with her I can share anything. Sadness, pain, suffering, healing, happiness, laughter, anger, it all comes up when you work hard on yourself.

This New Year I am still working hard on my mental health. Last fall, I was diagnosed with depression, then later a bipolar illness. Yes, there was a small Hollywood glimpse into Catherine Zeta Jones' struggle with this same disease. I am still struggling, fighting and angry at times.

Yet I'm dedicated and young with many years left to live. I now have someone who is paid to help me help myself and to help me find medicinal balances for my illness.

I must constantly remind myself to never give up, and I am sending a message out there to anyone who needs help but is afraid to take the next step. I was afraid, but I am here now. Trust me, the giant leap of faith is worth it.

Kate Hahn lives in Northampton.