Resolution sought through mediation

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KEVIN GUTTING

This cross, in memory of Sean Snow, who died in 2002 at the age of 17, sits in the right-of-way of N. Leverett Rd. between Richardson and Coke Kiln roads in Leverett.

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KEVIN GUTTING

Detail of a cross, in memory of Sean Snow, who died in 2002 at the age of 17, that sits in the right-of-way of N. Leverett Rd. between Richardson and Coke Kiln roads in Leverett.

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KEVIN GUTTING

This cross, in memory of Sean Snow, who died in 2002 at age 17, sits in the right-of-way of North Leverett Road between Richardson and Coke Kiln roads in Leverett.

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KEVIN GUTTING

A poetic tribute adorns a cross erected in memory of Sean Snow off North Leverett Road in Leverett.

LEVERETT - When Phyllis Glazier sits down to watch TV in her living room, she can see through her window a small wooden cross on the other side of North Leverett Road.

The cross commemorates a one-car accident that took place there at 2 a.m. on May 8, 2002, in which 17-year-old Sean Snow died. Two of the Glaziers' neighbors have asked that the cross be removed, but she disagrees with them.

"Whatever makes the bereaved parents feel better is what those who live around it should accept," she said. "It's a terrible thing to lose a child."

The cross was made by Mark Snow of Shutesbury, the boy's father. It features carved letters spelling out "Sean Snow."

A photograph of Sean and the words "In loving memory" and "I'm missing you" are on the cross. It is 11 feet from the road, in front of a utility pole, and is partially obscured by weeds.

Mark Snow and his wife and son are going through mediation about the future of the cross with the two neighbors who want it removed. They are Jean Lukens of 180 North Leverett Road and Gordon Fretwell of 175 North Leverett Road. The cross, which is at the base of Lukens' steep driveway, is not visible from the door of either house.

The Snow family and Lukens and Fretwell have met with John Hallock of Quabbin Mediation, and a second and final session is scheduled for June 26, Snow said. The mediator asked everyone involved not to speak publicly about the issue, he said.

Fretwell, in a telephone interview, also declined to talk about the cross. "There's a process going on, and we hope that something comes of that," he said.

But the minutes of the May 13 meeting of the Leverett Board of Selectmen show the depth of feeling on both sides. Lukens and Fretwell had asked the board to address the issue of the cross, which is in the right of way of the road.

The memorial serves as a constant reminder to the neighbors of the night they went to the aid of the accident victims, according to the minutes and confirmed by Fretwell. They described the horror of the accident and said the Snows might be helped, six years afterward, by removing the cross.

About 40 people came to the May 13 meeting to support the Snows. Several expressed their desire to have the memorial remain.

In 2003, the selectmen sent a letter to the Snow family asking that the cross be removed. Some neighbors said the memorial was causing drivers to honk their horns as they pass it, and others said it brings back painful memories, the letter said.

But the selectmen reconsidered the request to remove the cross, and agreed to research the issue and propose a policy. "As the father of one of these victims, it has a very special meaning," Mark Snow told the board at the time, noting that the cross may encourage drivers to slow down.

On May 13, the Snow family and the neighbors agreed to go through mediation. Selectman Jim Lyons said he hopes a compromise can be worked out, and that the board will impose a governmental decision if it can't. The Leverett Police Department is paying the bill for the mediation from a community policing grant.

Hallock declined to discuss the cross dispute but explained how the process works.

Mediation, unlike the courts, is not an adversarial process, he said. It's a way for people to hear each other and become more flexible in their positions, avoiding hostility and blame, he said.

"We sit down with people and give them a chance to speak," Hallock said. "If we can do it in terms of facts and neutral expressions, then it's easier for another person to hear what they're saying."

Roadside memorials have become a more common sight along U.S. highways. There is even a Web site, roadsidememorials.com, that sells mail-order crosses to grieving relatives.

There is no federal policy on them, and state policies vary greatly. Some states allow them only when alcohol was involved in the accident, while others limit how long they can remain in place.

Some Massachusetts towns, such as Norton, limit the display of roadside memorials to 30 days.

To some, the memorials provide solace to grieving families and serve as a reminder of the potential consequences of inattention at the wheel. Others see them as distractions to motorists or grisly eyesores, and some don't like seeing religious symbols on public land.

Phyllis Glazier said she's thankful it wasn't her family that was involved in the accident in front of her house. She called the cross "wonderful," and said she sees roadside memorials frequently when she goes to Florida.

"Why this has gotten (my neighbors) up a wall I can't understand," she said. "It shouldn't be traumatic to anyone except the family."

Nick Grabbe can be reached at ngrabbe@gazettenet.com.